Picture this: You’re checking into The Dorchester’s $40,800-a-night Royal Suite on the eve of the London Marathon. A few hours before arrival, the phone rings. There’s no hot water on the eighth floor, the very one where the suite takes up a hefty slice of real estate.
Situations like this are when you see what a hotel is really made of. It’s easy to provide stellar service when everything is going smoothly, but it’s interesting to see how it’s handled when things go pear-shaped. In the Dorchester’s case, the solution was to hand over a second suite on the third floor – the equally grand-sounding Regal Suite – where the plumbing was behaving.
It’s not ideal. Padding between floors in a bathrobe, wash bag in hand, doesn’t really say luxury. Still, having the run of two opulent suites on one of the busiest weekends of the year? There are certainly worse problems to have.
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Stay
Plumbing issues aside, the Royal Suite is a surprise. Online, it looked like standard English grandeur — elegant if not a touch stuffy. In reality, it’s far more playful: upon entry, I was greeted with a long black-and-white marble hallway, candy-pink striped wallpaper, and a gilded mirror. It was far more kitsch and light-hearted than I was expecting.
The suite’s new look forms part of the hotel’s most significant refurbishment in over thirty years. Interiors are by designer Pierre-Yves Rochon, who has drawn on British landscapes for inspiration. You see it most clearly in the deep forest-green kitchen and the statement dining room, where a ten-person table sits beneath a mirrored ceiling and a grand chandelier, framed by de Gournay wallpaper of flowers winding through a diamond trellis.
It’s a pretty perfect setting for a dinner party, though I’d argue the better move is room-service breakfast – taken in a fluffy robe and slippers, of course.
The sitting room is vast, stretching the full length of one side of the suite and subtly dividing into what feels like a left and right wing. Pastels sit against dark wood furnishings and Versailles parquet flooring, while large windows fill the space with sunlight, keeping it airy rather than overly formal. An Art Deco–style minibar comes stocked with Dom Pérignon (useful, should the welcome bottle not last the night).
Beyond it lies a study: dressed in green, with a red lacquer desk and mahogany bookcase. It might feel more serious but fun touches – a glass jar of hard-boiled sweets, a pair of binoculars for surveying Hyde Park and the Serpentine stretched out below – keep it from feeling too businessy.
The suite can be configured to include up to four bedrooms, bringing the total blueprint to 5,145 sq ft. The principal bedroom’s color palette is calmer and more restrained than the rest of the suite. It leads into a large his ‘n’ hers dressing room with sliding doors opening into a white marble–clad bathroom with a deep soaking tub (taken cold, thanks to the plumbing situation — but still quite enjoyable) and a double shower.
A 24-hour butler service comes as expected. Ours, Miguel, was effortlessly affable: full of stories about the hotel’s contemporary art collection (a chunk of it by living artists), the Dorchester’s custom Dipytique scent that can’t be purchased, and what London was like in the 1980s (“iconic!”). He kept my glass topped up with vintage Dom Pérignon, suggested I retrieve the second bottle from the backup suite, and quietly checked whether anything needed pressing before dinner.
Dine
Dinner was at The Grill, one of the Dorchester’s five restaurants. Dark and cool, with cozy booths and an apothecary-style bar, it’s more relaxed than the three-Michelin-starred Alain Ducasse at The Dorchester or The Promenade, home of the hotel’s famously polished afternoon tea. Order the parmesan, pecorino, and black pepper churros and wash it down with a one-sip martini.
If you like going behind the scenes, ask for a look at the kitchen. Or rather, kitchens. The Dorchester’s culinary operation spans the equivalent of four tennis courts. There’s even an escalator linking the two floors, along with a parade of astonishing machinery: an in-house ice cream machine creating flavors like Earl Grey; a spray-painting device for cakes; and a continuously churning chocolate machine.
Beyond the Willy Wonka theatrics, there’s also a serious wine cellar, holding over half-a-million dollars worth of bottles. The list runs to 74 pages and over 1,000 labels, and private tastings can be arranged – after which, you may well forget all about any plumbing issues.
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The Grill at The Dorchester
The subterranean spa at The Dorchester
Wellness
The subterranean spa is decidedly feminine with blush pink armchairs and a wall of pink and white roses. There’s a nail salon, an in-house eyebrow and eyelash expert (appointments can also be taken in-suite), facials by Natasha Clancy, founder of the clinical studio Kichi, and haircare by Carol Joy. The treatment menu is vast at 23 pages long. There are two steam rooms, one in the men’s changing rooms and one in the women’s. There’s no swimming pool on-site, but guests of The Dorchester can use neighboring 45 Park Lane’s 65-ft pool; it’s a taxing one-minute walk away.
